Date: 2024-09-27 Page is: DBtxt003.php txt00019615
Why can’t Democrats make this their primary talking point? ... People love dogs. America loves dogs. Americans in red states love dogs, I’m sure of it.
Peter Burgess
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
No dog. ... Why can’t Democrats make this their primary talking point?
People love dogs. America loves dogs. Americans in red states love dogs, I’m sure of it.
But for the first time in many years, there’s no dog in the White House.
There isn’t even an animal in the White House.
President Obama had two Portuguese water dogs, Sunny and Bo.
George W. Bush had two Scottish terriers.
Bill Clinton had Buddy, a Labrador retriever. And even that great conservative icon, Ronald Reagan, had Lucky and Rex.
Why does this matter so much? Because it means our President is emotionally unable to care for an animal.
President Trump doesn’t have enough love in his heart for an animal, and yet his supporters believe he’s fit to care for our nation.
What’s his excuse, anyway?
“I don’t have any time,” Trump said at a rally in February 2019.
Huh? Come again now?
Not only does your daily schedule have more empty spaces than the parking lot at your failed casino, but from a logical perspective it’s totally ridiculous to imply that busy people are unable to care for a pet.
If what you say is true, Mr. Trump, then Republicans should explain to all those pet-owning Americans out there who can’t make enough money to feed their families what the real problem is. Oh, you have two jobs but you’re still going into debt? You’ve got to ditch your dog. If you want to be successful like President Trump, stop wasting time on a useless animal.
I’m joking, of course. But that’s only because the whole idea that you can’t be successful and care for a pet is just so crazy.
And besides, what about all the other presidents who had pets?
In American history, only two presidents never brought pets of any kind into the White House. Even your idol, Andrew Jackson, had a foul-mouthed parrot.
And then there’s this — at the same February 2019 rally, you also suggested that your decision to avoid dog ownership was all about your image.
“How would I look walking a dog on the White House lawn?” you said. “It feels a little phony.”
Let me get this straight. You believe that one of the most genuine things a man can do in his life — own, care for, and have a joyful relationship with a dog — is actually phony?
Your concern with “phoniness” is hilarious coming from a man who faked a bone deformity to avoid serving in Vietnam, faked a medical evaluation when he was a presidential candidate, fakes his taxes, fakes his tan, created fake magazine covers to make himself seem more successful, and played a fake billionaire on a television show that was also totally fake.
But enough with this factual information.
Herein lies madness — what the right calls Trump Derangement Syndrome and what the left calls Seeing What’s in Front of Your Damn Face.
In fact, I think there’s another reason you’re worried about what a dog would do for your image, President Trump.
I think as soon as you imagine having a dog, you also imagine needing to be patient with it. Having to return affection for it. Having to understand its needs. And these are all things you don’t know how to do. Not with a dog, and certainly not with a person.
This is the REAL image problem you’re worried about, Mr. President—not that Americans would see you with a dog, but that Americans would see you treating a dog very badly.
After all, you’ve said many times that you believe dogs are sad and scornful things — in your own words, Omarosa was “that dog” who betrayed you, Mitt Romney “choked like a dog,” Steve Bannon was “dumped like a dog,” someone from the National Review came to your office “begging for money like a dog,” and rapper Mac Miller (RIP) was an “ungrateful dog.”
Well, here’s some advice for you, President Trump.
Forget that October surprise you’ve been planning for months now.
Instead, try something a lot less nasty and a lot more loving: this October, get yourself a dog. Make a big deal out of getting a dog. Get the best dog. Get the most incredible dog. Nobody will understand how incredible the dog is going to be, but that’s perfectly fine, Mr. President.
The dog will give a boost to your terrible ratings.
The dog will be a great talking point at your freewheeling rallies as your mask-less supporters infect themselves with the coronavirus, which you recently said “affects virtually nobody” despite the fact over 200,000 Americans have died of the disease in just over six months.
The dog will keep you company while you rant and rave at the television on election night.
And after the election, when you’ve been placed under house arrest in Trump Tower awaiting federal and state prosecution for bank fraud, tax fraud, wire fraud, and mail fraud, the dog will keep you company.
In fact, the dog is probably all you’re going to have when this is over.
Because do you know why people love dogs?
Unconditional love, Mr. President.
No matter how mean, nasty, or black your heart is — no matter how many people abandon you or betray you — a dog will stay true.
And if you don’t get a dog, at least get some kind of pet.
Even Vladimir Lenin had a cat. Benito Mussolini had a lion.
Think of yourself as superstitious. Think of yourself as needing good luck.
Because there’s no way you could possibly know this given your hatred of history, but the only two presidents who never allowed pets into the White House were James K. Polk and Andrew Johnson, and do you know what else they had in common with you?
They were both one-term presidents.
10/2/20 Update — Turns out there’s now an actual campaign centered around this concept. Awesome! Check out the Dog Lovers for Joe website and see their ad spot.
The Collector Chronicles on History, Politics, Feminism and Culture Follow 2.9K 47 Sign up for The Collector's Digest By The Collector Chronicles on History, Politics, Feminism, Racism and LGBTQ Take a look Get this newsletter Emails will be sent to peterbnyc@gmail.com. Not you? Politics Election 2020 Donald Trump Pets Humor 2.9K claps 47 responses Jack Luna WRITTEN BY Jack Luna Follow I’m more than just a writer. Don’t bother looking for me on Twitter. This is my home at the moment. The Collector The Collector Follow The aim of this publication is to learn from our history and culture in order to understand the dynamics of politics and improve the current state of movements for feminism, racism, and LGBTQ. More From Medium More from The Collector The Woman Who Survived the World’s Most Notorious Tribe Mythili the dreamer in The Collector Sep 17 · 5 min read 5.2K More from The Collector The Fascinating Story of the Versailles Time-Travel Incident Mythili the dreamer in The Collector Sep 16 · 5 min read 1.7K More from The Collector The Obscene and Grotesque Marginalia of Medieval Books kabir in The Collector Sep 16 · 4 min read 1.6K Discover Medium Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch Make Medium yours Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore Become a member Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade About Help Legal Personally, I suspect a dog forced into Donald Trump's presence would chew it's own leg off to get away. I know I would. 193 2 Sarah Kelly Sarah Kelly 3 days ago It wouldn’t be fair to the dog. 98 Duane Bemister Duane Bemister 4 days ago Dogs know a good person when they first meet them. 76 1 Tom B Tom B 4 days ago Ya know, I needed a smile this morning and you delivered. Thanks! 48 1 tobe clemens tobe clemens 3 days ago If Trump got a pet I would be afraid he would forget to feed it and it would starve, because the only thing he cares about is himself. 100 joan anthony joan anthony 3 days ago 85 This would be a good time for Biden to buy a new puppy. The media would spend half any interview time they get with him asking about it and he could have it on his lap. Lisa Patrell Lisa Patrell 4 days ago They were both one-term presidents I feel better already. 44 joseph gresham joseph gresham 3 days ago Why does this matter so much? Because it means our President is emotionally unable to care for an animal. He isn’t that good with animals. A certain video of him and a bald eagle does come to mind. But let’s not make it a campaign thing. If that happens, Trump is just going to buy a pit bull and call it General Custer. 48 Christine M Christine M 3 days ago Responsible dog lovers don’t make this an issue out of fear that Trump or one of his family would go out & get a dog. Would you wish that on any dog?? 32 Michael Castengera Michael Castengera 2 days ago Funny because I had made the same point in an article. You left out one critical point. Joe Biden has two dogs -- one from a breeder and one that he and his wife adopted from a rescue service. 21 1 You have 2 free stories left this month. Upgrade for unlimited access. Check your U.S. voter registration status or register to vote here.